Time better spent off the bike

So today instead of spending 3 or 4 hrs in the saddle I got to hang with the little guy. There is something to be said for little girls...They do tend to wrap their dads around their little fingers but this little guy just keeps on getting better and better. I'm starting to learn that boys are just much more laid back and there aren't the wild hormonal mood swings that there are with my daughter. With big sister out at the movies with Grandmom and Pop Pop we got to play outside. It was nice to get some fresh air and watch Zach play kiddie golf or hoops with his new playschool setup. Well that's all for now. The Z man is sleeping which means a nice nap for daddy...TC

All the cream filling was shot out of the Donut today

As if yesterday wasn't bad enough this mornings ride had me in a FOUL mood. My alarm went off at 7am and all I could think about was going back 2 bed for another 3 hrs but instead I dragged my dead ass out to ILRA for what I thought would be an easy 2 lap ride. Well my easy ride lasted about 3 minutes as DC immediately decides to pick up the pace. It was at this time that I decided that whatever those guys wanted to do was fine but all I wanted to do was ride EASY. To make a long story short. I got dropped out the asshatch early and rode one lap at a ridiculously slow pace. Everyone was waiting at the parking lot and Terry was like come on lets do one more easy lap...Yeah right...I knew what that meant and didn't take the bait. I pulled the rip cord to head home. I love driving an hour to only ride an hour but what the fuck the last thing that I needed was another "slow" lap to totally fry me and make me totally useless for the rest of the day. TC

Yesterday's blog

I wasn't able to blog yesterday because by the time we got done riding I was so useless it was all I could do to put JRC to sleep B4 I headed off into dream land. What I do remember is 3 hrs spent at PLRA smoking the first lap as Joe said there was some guy coming up on us fast. So being on point I cranked it up with all I had. We never did see the guy so who knows what that was all about. Lap 2 saw the ace take a huge bonk before the campground road and all I remember after that was going back to the car and changing into a fresh jersey for the 3rd lap where we ran into Cathy. Not much else to mention. I was cooked. TC

DC breaks Cathy's will again

Today's ride was off to a wonderful start. Butt and DC left early to put down some extra miles. Jim bolted out of the parking lot as soon as he saw me pull in and Cathy was in her car with her Blackberry (or as we call it the Dingelberry) in hand making a conference call. There was much speculation througout the ride as to what the call was really about. DC suggested it had something to do with which way the Blue Light rotates (clockwise vs. counterclockwise) I thought that maybe SearsMart was contemplating a new slurpee flavor and wanted Cathy's opinion ( I would vote for my favorite flavor cherry red) and Butt felt as though since Cathy is in charge of buying for women's woven garments that maybe they were planning a new line of lingerie that she could model. Well I left Cathy at the lot to finish her call and headed backwards to meet DC and the Tooshky. We met up at the pines and headed back out for another forward loop hoping that we wouldn't run into Cathy as she headed out backkwards to meet us (JK). We were having a good lap and met Cathy right after Joe's Pinball Alley but something wasn't right. It seems that 3 days of consecutive riding back in MI had taken it's toll on our little friend. "My back is killing me and I've got no legs today" she exclaimed. "I think when I get back home I need to do some pilates and maybe some core strengthening". Well as soon as she says this DC starts flopping on the ground doing his impersonation of Cathy's stretching and Pilates routine it was fucking hilarious. The rest of the ride was at a moderate pace but any time that DC started to wick up the pace Cathy would fall off the back claiming DC had broken her spirit. We all know what happened the last time he did that....We didn't hear from her in like 4 months. It's to bad Cathy has to go home Sunday I really miss her spirit and need someone to keep me on the SET Program. CYA 2morrow for a nice recovery ride...TC

Oh no I've been spammed by the NAKED BARBARIAN

Holy shit I can't believe the one and only J. Hess (AKA The Naked Barbarian) has finally pryed himself away from the Dongeons and Dragons forum at Myparentsbasement.com. The only problem is now he has decided to spam my blog. Jason, it is good to see that you have once again joined the real world. I hope all of your trench coat wearing friends don't get to upset with me. Nice to see that you sacked up and used your real name rather than hiding behind your usual screen name. Nice Pecs bro...Late TC

Random Xmas gifts

While reading Steele's blog yesterday something struck me as being funny. RS bought her mom a foot whirlpool that she realized was kind of a lame gift but she bought it anyway. The reason I brought this up is because there is someone in my family who does the same thing for me every year. This year she gave me the obligatory sweater and some khakis which were well appreciated but VERY BORING!!!! Pretty standard stuff right? Well the next box she hands me had this thing in it. WTF a hand held SO DO KU puzzle game. Needless to say this thing is being regifted and will probably end up as someone's secret santa gift next year at work. How is my syntax so far Mrs. Hess? Now on to today's ride. Nothing much here to note. One lap backwards with the normal crew. There was one point of interest regarding today's ride. Cathy's back was sore today from a long hard day of shopping so she decided to stop at the pines and go through some sort of yoga stretching routine. It was hilarious to watch, DC suggested that she was trying to re-adjust her chi. One lap was enough for me today as I still needed to get a frameset boxed up to ship to some cheese eating frenchman over in the Pyrinees. I went to UPS and found out it was only going to cost me $300.00 bucks to ship it out what a bargain. Oh almost forgot to mention that upon our arrival back to the parking lot someone had messed around with all of our cars moving sideview mirrors and fucking with windshield wipers. I think that some of the BELLS CREW might have been up to some mischief. Mrs Hess I hope my blog wasn't to random. Next time I will try to be more succint. TC

Guess Who's Back? Back Again? CATHY'S BACK

So tell all your friends.....Yes she's back and she's back.....So we knew Cathy was going to be in town after Xmas and that can only mean one thing LONG ASS RIDES that usually end up with Cathy getting us lost and DC berating the hell out of her. Well today would be different.. PLRA 2:00 sharp (but I had to be there early to give Cathy her Xmas present...Some full on Planet Cycle Freddy Fenders so she wouldn't get her COOTER wet!!!) The fenders went on in a snap and soon DC, Cathy, The REV or New Dave, Butt and I take off out of the parking lot. Riding in the winter with fenders looks so DORKY but they do keep alot of the slop off of your legs so U don't get that Oh so chilled effect. The trail was wet and slimy but not to muddy..Fenders working well all was good. But with Cathy in tow U knew the ride would't be casual for to long. This was fucking tremendous for me as I have had a cold and some serious LUNG BUTTER for the past 2 weeks as a matter of fact I haven't been on my bike since last Thursday and I knew I was gonna ride like SHIT!!! The ride is going along well until we get to the end of the trail...Now since we know that place like the back of our collective hands I knew Cathy would want to ride some of the horse trails and old sections that we lost over the years to the horse people. Lets just say that the Pukes, Merit badge and the back of Cannibal were involved. Butt and I got dropped of the back as Cathy and DC were putting it down (I may have been able to hand if I could have inhaled more that a quarter of my VC) the REV was even content to ride casual until DC and Cathy opened up the gap more...The The REV was off. All in all not a bad way to spend 2 hrs riding with your friends on a day when it would have been easier to stay at home. Tomorrows ride should be equally enjoyable. Gotta get some serious rest and drink lots of fluids..If that fails a steroid dose pack may be in the near future as now I'm hacking up tons of shit and I have this nice wheezing cough (think cat with a furball caught in his throat). More on Cathy 2morrow....Rumor has it she is going to buy a snowboard...Rome if U want 2....Rome around the world... TC

Mark Hoppus V. Tom Delong

In regards to something totally unrelated to cycling I went to the night 89x stole Xmas last thursday. I mainly wanted to see Angels and Airwaves and Taking Back Sunday. But whatever...I have seen several Blink 182 shows and have always liked them so I was kinda interested in what A&A would be like live. I realize that both the new Angels and Airwaves and +44 albums are more mature (whatever that means) but Tom was like grandstanding on the mic in between songs kinda talking down about his old band. Dude get over it move on and keep making music. When people stop downloading your shit or stop coming to the shows then call it a day or move on to Vegas and do some cheap lounge act. All in all the show rocked. (that is so lame). Does anyone else think the NFG just keeps on getting better? Hope those guys never get to full of themselves and break up....TC

Landis V. Lance at the Leadville 100

Mark it down on the calender August 11th 2007 Floyd V. Lance in Colorado any bets as to who the winner will be. Apparently Floyd is recovering from hip surgery and wants to get back to his MTB roots. Should be interesting.

It can be done

Things I've learned after last nights ride.

1. Warm weather this time of year can create mud on the trails
2. Mud SUCKS. So don't ride the trail unless u want to do some trail
maintenance.
3. The proper technique for RH (take note Team Awesome)
The 2 pump twist pump method.

Well I really didn't learn that last one from last nights ride but I thought that it would make interesting blogging......

Baboon Ass

Now anyone out there who understands the Ace knows that I work to live not live to work like many of my colleagues. In fact I leave work 30-40 minutes early everyday (especially in the winter) so that I can ride. So today the plan was no different than any other day except for one thing. Today was my yearly performance appraisal. Now other than the fact that I scam out and disappear early almost everyday I am an otherwise exemplary employee. So today my fucking fatass 5 month pregnant with her third child saggy titted boss ( who is still going to work full time and let daycare raise her kids) decides to get all chatty. Now normally I can't stand having a 5 minute conversation with the MONSTER so how long does my appraisal last.....FUCKING 90 MINUTES.... I was ready to kill myself. But wait there is more....not only am I about to piss myself with boredom but by the time this fucking thing is over it is now 3:25 p.m. a full twenty five minutes after my shift ends. Fucking great. No riding for me today which was OK because I was really in no mood anyway. Took JRC to Bloomer and we hung out on the play structure. Wasn't a bad day after all but I'm leaving a full hour early tomorrow to make up for my deuche bag of a boss.

The QUIET ONE is quiet no more!!!!

After today's ride at PLRA we were joking Mike telling him that I was going to blog about him. Let's just say there was a lot of yelling today at PLRA. I'll leave the rest up to the imagination...TC

LUMPY Takes out the Ace

Anyone who knows Lump knows he is for real. The dude is a larger than life true mountain biker and he is also quite hilarious. I had the pleasure or should I say unfortunate opportunity to ride this weekend with the Lump at ILRA. Now normally you would say no big deal Island is tame. Some people would even wonder what J was doing out there in the first place but that is another story. The ride was going along well..Casual pace having fun whatever. The first lap no big deal. The second lap was again going smoothly DC up front followed by The Rev, Lump then myself. Then BANG!!!! The SHIT breaks loose. The downhill before you cross the park road for the second time (think the last hard left before you ride through the whooped out slime holes then cross the bridge. Or the only technical downhill section in the trail) Lump catches his pedal on a tree!!! Blammm He endoes...Now being right behind him I'm thinking FUCK I"M ABOUT TO EAT SHIT as his Quiring 29er bounces up and takes me out causing me to in turn endo and land on his bike. I think his pedal tore up my thigh and my elbow smashed into his chainstay. Well one cracked helmet later we were back on the trail but I had seriously lost my desire to ride anymore. The Rev and I finished up the lap after getting asshatched by DC and Lummis. Two days later and I'm still sore. Better call Massey about that helmet...TC

Christmas presents and riding dirty

Dave C..Little bro of DC hope U like the PS3 that I scored 4 U. Don't worry I sold it 4 MSRP but the story of how I got it is much better U will have to ask your brother. Let's just say it involved a hot nurse. Riding 2day was awesome. Plra was dry for the most part but still the ground is so soft that riding fast drained all of the energy out of my legs. Only got in 2 laps today due to some family obligations and the impending darkness. What is it like 10 more days now until the days get longer. Can't wait. Congrats 2 Joeberon for getting in 3 laps today. Don't even try stealth parking....the vibe was at the crack.. Joe B was laying it down. Good Luck to all of the Michigan and Ohio Cross racers at Nats this weekend. Kick some ass then relax have a beer and get fat. CYA Quattro!

Better than a sharp stick in the eye

I needed to ride outside today. Yesterday sucked. Nothing worse than churning away inside on a trainer. I put the call in to DC...Where we ridin 2day? "Island"...What the fuck..I didn't really want to drive half way across the state to ride ILRA and I was not really feeling it. "No dumbass" says DC, HIGHLAND...Like as in HIGHLAND the place I hate so much that I would rather shove a sharp stick in my eye. To me Highland could be so much sweeter. I can't stand tight rough rocky trails that have absolutely no flow. The only trail I loathe more than Highland is Holdridge...I'll have to blog on that place later. But whatever it was an outdoor ride on December 13th and that can't be bad. I called Joe B on the way out to the ride and he tried to talk me out of riding with DC. "Just ride to stoney and do some easy laps" he said but by that time it was already to late. I was already on M59 headed west. I met Butt and DC and the ride was on. Don broke his front brake cable and had to do an abrupt dismount going around one corner. Other than that the ride was pretty uneventful.. Except for the CREEPY 2 person pop up tent that we saw perched at the top of one hill deep in the woods...Hope someone was using that as a hunting blind..We didn't want to get to close to it (it was off the trail anyway) as I was having visions of the movie DELIVERANCE. Anyway the ride was OK. I guess that Highland every now and then is OK and it was a chance to ride outside with the fellas....

Killing deer at the Creek

I was going to ride my MTB today through the backroads to Stoney and onto the MTB trials but I decided the trails might be a little muddy and instead I opted to ride my road bike. Good thing I did because the south side of the park was closed so the DNR or whoever could manage the deer population. I got some good base miles in and it felt good to be on a road bike again. I used my camera phone to capture some of the action but I cannot seem to be able to download pics from my phone onto my PC. The only other guy on a bike was some dude on a recumbent that seemed to be enjoying himself. I rode through the Baypoint beach parking lot and it seemed weird that only about a month ago we were racing cross and there were cars in the lot. Tonight the lot was empty not one car. I was able to see the outline of the course as the grass was still worn down in some areas and it gave me a chill. Here's a lesson that I learned from that race never combine a glass of apple cider with a GU. It is a combination for a gastric explosion worse than that of one Jay Moncel after eating at Taco Bell. Overall about an hour and a half of nice riding tonight. It pissed rain but I never got to wet or felt cold. Gotta get working on uploading from my phone...Oh well. Late

Rob and Big

For anyone reading this blog a couple of things that I have been thinking about but haven't been able to get around 2..First MTV has this reality show "Rob and Big" starring pro skateboarder Rob Drydek and his 419 lb bodyguard Christopher "Big Black" Boykins (who is also his roommate). This shit is straight out hilarious. In the last episode their dog a bulldog named "Meaty" eats some chicken bones out of the garbage then ends up staggering around the house while Rob exclaims " I think he's got a chicken bone up his ass". They take him to the vet and in the end he is OK but the crap these 2 guys get into is so funny it kinda takes me back to the days of Jackass. Oh and one other thing for Joey B. Crawlings had to take back his dog to the Rochester school for the blind...or should I say he was repossesed. Tim and Kerry get this bought a Labradoodle from some guy in Nebraska (like there aren't any breeders in Michigan) they are picking him up from metro on thursday and they let the girls name him.....Now here's the funny part his name.....Oberon....No shit ask him...I guess Tim is also a little more pleased with the work that Kerry had done...If U know what I mean!!!!

PLRA

Today's ride included all of the horse trails that were once part of the MTB loop. DC, Buttush and I headed out early before the sun got to warm and softened the trail up. It is amazing how much horses can damage the trails even though it appears as though it has been some time since anyone has ridden one back there. The Pukes still can bring some pain and by the end of big puke I was breathing out of my eyeballs. It is amazing that even though we haven't ridden those trails for about 4 years I still remember all of the old lines and where to brake and when to let it fly. Is there anyway we can reclaim the old trail? Who knows. I'd like to think so . Fuck the horse people. I was wondering how the first ride of the Robert Hermit Man series went? I wanted to drive by Einstein's on my way home but by the time we got done they had already left. Well that's all for now. I forgot the supercross is on and I want to see if Stewart is going to be out 4 the season..TC

Riding Solo

Today was a beautiful day sunny warm and not to much wind. I decided to ride solo as the Rev and DC were up in Grayling riding their snowmachines. Solo rides can be cool. Time to think reflect and to ride at your pace. I decided to do the paint creek to Stoney ride and as I pedaled there was one thing that kept going through my mind. We recently lost our 15 year old yellow lab and I've been missing her. Bailey was the best dog ever hands down. She was smart, obedient and all she wanted was to please you. From the first day we got her I knew there was something different about her. She was super intelligent, she never wandered off of the property (even without a fence) and she followed hand and verbal commands like she knew just what I was thinking. As a puppy and younger dog she could run like the wind. My parents have a weim (known for their boundless energy) and she could run her into the ground but at the end of the day all she wanted to do was lay down on the couch and snuggle. I truly think she was some kind of old soul. Unfortunately dogs like people age. About 3 months ago she started having seizures...The vet put her on phenobarbitol which helped but in the end she started having seizures once a day and it just became to much. We had to put her down and that was the hardest thing I've ever done. Saying farewell to a friend that gave you unconditional love is super hard. It is weird not hearing her toes click across the floor and when I open the garage door I still expect her to be there waiting for me. Zach still misses her, he'll walk around the house calling "Bailey" looking for her in all of her usual spots. I kinda want a new dog, I even know what breed I want (Vizsla) but I'm afraid that a new dog just won't be the same. I truly think that Bailey was one of a kind. How many dogs sleep under your covers and keep your feet warm in the winter? I'll have to think about it some more.

First Tracks

Well after a frustrating morning of trying to organize a ride Joberon and myself decided to ride old PLRA (AKA Cameron Lake Rec Area). Lets just say it was epic. As I pulled up Joe was already getting dressed and it looked like we were going to have the whole place to ourselves. As I pulled on my jacket and attached my lights I noticed this SUV pulling in. What the FUCK another CHOAD who didn't send a permission slip. I know that seems a little dicky but when U spend as much time riding that place as we do (not to mention maintaining it) U kind of feel like it is yours. Anyway the trail was awesome with only a light dusting of snow (not even an inch in some spots). We rode the first lap backwards then a second lap in the normal direction. As I was leaving another truck was pulling in the lot...Hmmmm this one looked more familar...It was none other than the Bird who then proceeds to tell me that he was meeting 2 Bills and Buttush for a couple of night laps. Damn to bad I missed that one. It has been a long time since I've ridden with Birdy at night and I should have gone back out with them but I was already changed and didn't have anymore dry clothes. Well at least I didn't mind if they hit the trails. Permission granted...for now Birdy.

Remembering Cathy

I got a text page from Cathy tonight as I was bored to death in a staff meeting. Seems like she is ragging on me for starting this blog so I told her that I was going to share some of her old stories with cyberspace so she wouldn't feel so neglected (her ego can be fragile). Tonight I will share one of her more classic stories. I like to call it Cathy's crazy inventions (of which there are many). Cathy is known to invent quite a few of her own cycling accessories....Lights, etc. But tonights story focuses on the Addison Oaks race about 4 years ago. We all know how low lying Addison can be and if there is any moisture or rain the place can turn into a mud pit. Well the night before the race it is pouring so Cathy decides she is going to cut up a bunch of old pop bottle and milk jugs to fashion fenders and mud guards out of. Needless to say it looked like a homeless person had stolen her bike and I'm not really sure how it worked out as the mud caked up in the fenders and her bike weighed like 75 # at the end of the race..Priceless

Joeberon spotted peeing by the side of the road

The best thing about driving an hour and forty minutes home the other night was texting Joeberon knowing he was in the same boat as I was. The only difference was that I had that extra Gatorade bottle in the car that I used to relieve myself (ala Cathy Luczynski AKA Krazy Ski) and Joe had 2 stop!!

Wake me up when December ends

Actually I like Christmas and the holidays but this weather is killing me. I wouldn't mind it so much if there was a little glimpse of the sun but these grey skies are so depressing. I never thought much of seasonal affective disorder but I'm starting to believe. I know some of U R probably wondering and yes I did see my neighbor again this morning. However the reason I looked today was different. I was thinking about it and she does spend alot of time with my other married neighbor (they go to lions games etc) and his wife doesn't seem to mind at all. So I'm thinking maybe she puts on some kind of show 4 him in the morning as her bathroom is directly in front of my male neighbors den. Maybe I'm putting to much thought in here but well who knows. Trying to watch what I eat over the off season...Gotta lose about 15# for next year...Giving up pop sucks..I can never stay off 4 long and all I can think about is the Bell 4 lunch. Well gotta go now. Riding 2 night should be ok as long as I don't run across Speky.....TC

Slip slidin away

The best thing about last nights ride was the hour and forty minute drive home. Seems like people always forget how to drive at the first sign of snow. Get outta my way assclowns!!! As for Speky I didn't get a permission slip to ride so I don't know what he was doing out there. On my way in to work today something interesting happened. My neighbor always seems to keep her bathroom shades slightly open and this morning I just happened to see her in front of the mirror without her bra on. Now this would normally be OK except for the fact that she goes about 220 and has big D cups saggers going. I mean we are talking some dog ears!!!! AHHHH. Quick look away before the vision becomes fully embedded in the subconscious!!!! That's all for now. I think I'm supposed to say "good night now".

Michigan state cross championships

Test 1-2....Thunder road baby....Here it goes....It was cold. Really freaking cold. Did I mention that it was cold. Driving to waterford hills all I could think of was thank god this is the last race of the season. I was mentally cooked and my left knee had been killing me for the last 2 weeks. I tried to warm up on the trainer behind cross crazy's trailer but the wind was so nasty and biting that I had to wear my winter coat and jeans just to fend of the chills. After Andy B's race Dave wanted a team picture so it was time to doff the coat and that is when really struck me how cold it was. Andrea come on get your camera and lets get this thing going! Then it was time to take a quick pre-ride. The course was open and flat with a two sets of barriers and as Robert lined us up all I wanted to do was try to stay with Mike S. On the line Rachel was next 2 me and next to her was my old nemesis Baldovery. The race starts and Mike takes off like a rocket. Gary is behind him (remarkably) and then I am third. Gary comes over into my line somewhat and all I can think about is getting around this choad. Through the grass and back onto the pavement and he is gone. I get passed up by a couple of guys through the chicane and settle in. I hear someone on my wheel the only thing that I can think is try to keep the pace up and I hope that it isn't someone close to me in the points. The next thing I know KABOOM Rachel goes past me. Sweet... Not only do I get a nice view but I figure we can work together. Now I've got to say that I heard people out there saying shit like "come on don't let a girl beat U" but I'm hear to tell U that she is for real and deserves props. We took turns working until about the 5th lap when I once again pulled my left calf on the far hill run up and I could only watch as everyone pulled away. I finished 7th which is totally cool with me. The real truth is I like riding my bike much more than I do racing and I'm looking forward to the off season and backing the pace down. DC and I even rode a chill lap at PLRA today hunting for Speky but we never did see him even after Don stopped to piss. Congrats to Jon Card who rode an awesome series. Congrats also 2 The Wizz for keeping the focus and 2 Jeff who was always in the mix. Big props to DC, Jay Moncel, Andy B, Mike S and of course Cross Crazy for rocking the Mic. Here's to next season and an off season of skiing and BASE MILES!!