The Quiet One opens a can of asskick

Today's skiing session saw the Rev break out his new skis and totally kick my ass. Like I told Ms Hess those old Garneau skis that Dave gave him really must have sucked because all I could do today was wave bye-bye as the Rev glided. It wasn't even funny...well I guess that it was but I was giving it all I had and it wasn't even close. DC says I need to wax my skis but I figure it's been three or four years since I last had them hot waxed (insert pun here) why start now. Hell the last time they were hot waxed were the day they left the XC ski shop in Grayling. Yeah I may have to get an iron and break out the wax but I just don't have the time or the motivation to get that crazy about it. Well I'm sure with a couple more hill laps on the docket for tomorrow I should be useless on Thursday. I'm starting to think about skiing with Jay or Terry more and more I need some easy recovery days. TC

Break out the skate skis

With the fresh snow we got here yesterday Independence Oaks is FINALLY open for skiing. Well at least for the type of skiing I want to do. DC and I did run into this guy who said he was out there last weekend but that it was pretty icy...Yeah that is my idea of fun...Well since this is the first time for skiing this year I was like "Ok Don, I'm going slow nice pace I don't want to be to sore tomorrow". He replies "yeah me to that sounds good". Well the difference for DC is that when he is going slow I am pegged out on the rev limiter. So we do a lake lap which goes alright..my form sucked and I was kinda gassed but hung in there. The next lap was our famous hill lap and that one KILLED me..but it gets better one more hill lap before we end it with a chill lake lap. The whole time I was dying. I have given a new nickname to one of the hills before you turn off to do the Ted Gray loop..I'm calling it BINKY because that's what I wanted when I got to the top. I'll have to admit it didn't skate up all the hills and my Tibialis Anteriors were screaming the entire time but it was fun and something different to do off of the bike. Tomorrow looks like more skiing I hope Two Bills or Butt show up to lessen the load as I know I could probably beat them up the hills. That is all for now.. I'm off to soak in the bathtub..TC

To fucking cold ouside today to ride the trails

So a little spinerooni on the oh so boring rollers will have to do...I never thought that I would admit it but I kinda miss my IPOD..I never should have sold it to that chick at work. Oh well I guess I can get myself a new video IPOD like Moncel so I can download porn...Ha Ha Ha just kidding..Just wondering did anyone else read the Hermit man's comments on his blog regarding his winter riding? He apparently puts lead weights in his frame and silicone in his tubes to make his bikes heavier..He said his bike weighs 76 pounds...I'm pretty sure he is pulling my leg but U never know with the Hermit man I think he may be serious..Anyone have any ideas? TC

Single speed and speky two days in a row

Tim the mouth (aka singlespeed) and Speky were seen again today riding back to back days at the crack. What gives? The worst thing was about 2 seconds after I pull in to get my gear on Tim shows up. Now he isn't a bad guy and he means well but he can talk your ear off if you let him.. I remember a few years ago I passed him on the last climb at PLRA only to crash awkardly on the following downhill and jack my shoulder up...As he rolls up to me he is like..."man dude that was an awesome crash it looked like it hurt let me tell you about the time I crashed at Poto" the whole time my right shoulder was killing me and all I wanted to do was limp back to the car but he was oblivious to that...So today all I could think of was how I needed to get going before he started on one of his monologues. Then I look over and what should my eyes see but Specky's SUV. Yeah I know the guy lives like 1 mile from PLRA but why ride in when U can drive. Well DC informs me that he arrived about 15 mins earlier than me and when he and Terry got there Specky was in the lot. Well I don't care if that assclown got there 2 minutes or a half an hour before me when I know he's there and he's out in front of us I am on that like white on rice. So we took off and I took the point. Riding hard but not to hard and just about the time we came up to the campground road I could see Specky up ahead CHOADING ALONG...Well that only amped up the ride more as DC came flying around me in full attack mode. I managed to accelerate up with Don and stuck on his wheel. We passed specky at the last little climb before the campground road. It felt good to fly past him going mach 1... Well anytime I pass him it feels good..helps to keep the motivation...Occasionally Specky will try to wick it up to see if he can hang but he must have been feeling more choadlike that normal today as he just pulled over and watched us go by...Good to see that he is still wearing that one jersey and polypro T that he has.. It must smell nice. I wonder if his mama still does his laundry..I can't wait for tomorrow...I'm skating out of work a little early to try to get to the Crack about 3 pm to see if he's there again..my guess is not seeing as how feebly he was riding today...Trying to get in more of those elusive base miles...TMS was wondering if the Underdog was going to bring over any Brass for cross...My guess is not I don't think many of those guys want to suffer that badly. I just wonder how much better he'll be after leaving Beardilocks and the whacked Rhin Hoes...Which leads me to one last point about Beardilocks....Has anyone ever noticed that the only time the dude ever talks to someone in the shop or shows them any courtesy is when they are about to drop 8 grand on a Serotta....Then of course the second said buyer leaves the store he never acknowledges them the next time they come in...Keep on playing with your fucking Lizard Mac and Cheese boy. Hey Ho Rhin Hoes why don't you give Jeff all your dough...TC

Speky seen at PLRA

When I pulled in to the parking lot yesterday the first thing that I noticed was that Speky was in the house. Since Don and Butt had already left on their first lap I decided to ride in backwards.. I knew that I would probably run into Speky that way and the thought of clotheslining him as I rode by did come to mind (not that I condone violence). Well just past the airplane field here comes Speky...The Choad even got off the trail so I could ride by. The funniest thing was after we got done riding (1hr and 40 mins ) his car was still in the lot. What gives..that assclown is usually done after one lap even in the summer...Oh well maybe he crashed...Or maybe he is gearing up for some racing this year..One thing is for sure he won't be out there today as he was wearing all of his gear and we all know that he only has one pair of shorts tights and jerseys...Nice speky better was those clothes.

Xtra large SUV's

I was asked by Mrs. Hess to blog on this one so I'll give it a shot. The story goes like this....I USED to own a 1997 Ford expedition....It ran great...never had any problems with it and I LOVED it because I could throw my bikes in the back without any problems (Here is where Jay likes to give me shit). Well unfortunately I got the wave through one day making a left turn from the turn lane across traffic and got PLOWED...Big red was gone...totalled...Frame was bent..BYE BYE...So I figure what the hell I'll just get another one no big deal the insurance company gave me like 9 grand for it and I was on my way. So I get the new truck figuring that everything would fit in the back just like my old truck. Well to my dismay the first thing that I did when I got home was try to put my bike in the back..Wouldn't fit...WTF...Apparently with the third row seat now coming standard it lessens the vertical size of the storage area in the back. FREAKING GREAT. So now I'm stuck with this vehicle that I bought only for the purpose of hauling around my bikes and now the only way to get any one of my bikes in the back is to take out the seatpost. I know not the end of the world but since Jay got me started again I thought I would vent....But the good news is now with gas at $1.84 a gallon I don't feel so bad....TC

What could possibly happen next?

Talk about some scandal going on. Saari decides to leave the Rhin Hoes? What gives? Has Jeff has lost control? I wonder what he is going to do with all of those Barney Kits he's got laying around. Rumor is that Rippen Ronnie and Ken are also going to ride with Essex Brass. Look out sounds like the wolverines and Health net have some defectors as well. But getting back to those goofballs in purple and gold. I can just imagine the scene as Saari tells Jeff he's leaving. Jeff's temples start popping out then his face starts twitching right before he goes into the don't you know you wouldn't be anything with out me speech. The dude has to get a grip we are talking about freaking amatuer bike racing in Michigan. U think that the way some of these guys talk they are just biding their time until some big pro team picks them up to race in the Tour. The reality is unless U R some super stud with a huge motor that is absolutely blowing people away every week consistently U R probably not on anybodys radar (sorry for the ego check). Still it makes for interesting blogging and the Ace has been known to stir the pot every now and again. I guess that also means that if Ronnie is gone so is Luke. Let the force be with you Luke..TC

Newest addition Specialized stable

Massey is at it again...This time he has inked "Kid Carbon". Word is that he and Dave go way back and it took a lot to get him onboard. There is one problem however apparently KC and the Rev don't get along. Can they co-exist? We will have to wait and see...

Reminiscing about the days growing up and the first person U kissed

Not really much to blog about lately...Riding outside is cold and nasty...I put in 2 hrs on the road on tuesday and by the time I got home my legs were literally numb and I had to take a 20 minute shower just to get the feeling back. I have to admit the sun glistening down on the iced tree limbs was kinda cool. Nice effect. Being on long solo rides gives one alot of time to reflect on life, bikes, whatever. Recently I've been thinking about building up an old BMX bike...Something to ride around the block with the kids...Nothing will ever replace my first real bike a mongoose team goose complete with blue anodized frame rims...That bike was the stuff. I then moved on to a SE racing Quadangle...Still one of the coolest bikes ever made I wish I had that one back. Complete with the landing gear fork. My first mountain bike was a specialized stumpjumper circa 1990...maybe earlier. Nice bike but not as cool as the Klein attitude that I bought off of Rich Nell (Tom Nell's youngest son) I still remember the color Horizon Linear fade complete with nuke proof hubs laced with Ti spokes...Boy did those things suck after one year that wheelset literally exploded. Ti spokes are very flexy and are prone to break. The next rig Tom Nell said I needed to have was the world famous Trek Y33. Single pivot URT the thing climbed like a big pile of crap..and it was heavy...The best thing was all of the crap that Tom sold me along with it.."U gotta get the Grafton levers and who could forget the Pauls brakes...Kooka cranks with a Ti bottom bracket...I had more money tied up in that bike...Then came the Gary Fisher supercaliber. The coolest thing about that one was the Blue to Kawasaki green paint job complete with the first Sid fork and Mavic crossmax wheels. Those crossmax's were light but the rims were prone to having the spoke nipple pull through the rim...Again one seasons worth of riding out of a hoop. Next came the Cannondale and the rest is history...Headshock..best thing ever...closed unit, no crap to bind up the sliders...bullet proof and so precise that it carves like a ginsu....Well that is all 4 now. Gotta think about getting tonight's ride in...hope it isn't to cold.....TC

Sweet sixteen

I must admit I watch alot of reality TV. If it's on MTV I'm on it like Butt on a burrito..I have to say that the dating shows like Parental Control and Next rule. The one show that kills me is Sweet Sixteen...It usually consists of some multimillionare buying his bratty totally spoiled "little girl" anything she wants including BMW's and Outrageous gowns that usually reveal way to much of a flabby belly. The best thing is they usually have some cheesy performer play at their parties which cost like 200,000 dollars. Must be nice...I hope they do a follow up show later in these kids life when the realize that daddy doesn't foot the bill for their entire existence...What could we call that one...TC

First tracks

So the plan was supposed to be this...Ditch out of work at 2:30 head to PLRA and ride for a couple of hours with DC. The only problem was when I left work there was a heavy mist like drizzle falling and I didn't want to drive all the way out there again to have it start full on raining then have to drive home in the midst of a bunch of assholes racing to beat the traffic. So plan B was put into place...solo ride at Stoney casual pace and trying to enjoy the cold weather. I'm still in a somewhat solo mode anyway so whatever..The trail was in remarkably good shape not to sloppy but there was standing water in the usual places. The only real bummer about the ride was that the ice on the trees made for branches that occasionally hung low over the trail and would smack you in the face....All in all not a bad way to spend a couple of hours and the drive home is always nice (10 mins). May spend some time on the rollers tonight if I can get myself to move the old road steed down into the basement (it's getting to cold to ride in the garage). Anyone out there got any good rides planned? Cathy? Kettle Morain? Park or Mountain?

Traffic tipster says

Ice Freaking blows and trying to drive home after aborting a ride sucks even worse. I just can't get myself to get on the trainer. I'm starting to wonder how much fitness I've lost even though I've been on the bike every day except today and friday I've been starting to hear through the grapevine of some guys putting in some sick hours in the saddle. My buddy stinky sent me a text yesterday stating that he rode 72 then ran three miles and had another big day planned for today...I wonder if he got out. I wonder if the Hermit man got out ahhh who am I fooling the H-man probably put down a century...That's all for now...stay off the roads..TC

Schouten going to Worlds

For anyone who is into cross it was pretty cool to see that Tristan was named to the US World Team..I guess that there is only one problem...he has to pay for most of the trip himself (J Moncel U should B talking to Trek to get them to pony up some cash) . Well if anyone is interested in supporting him go to his blogspot to see how U can help support a relatively local rider at worlds...TC

Brandon get a case of Montezuma's revenge

I was talking to my buddy Brandon the other day and he told me this story that I just haven't been able to stop thinking about. B used to work as a shop manager for Antoon's before he went out of business and later he moved on to Continental bike shop in Madison heights. Well B has since moved on to warm and sunny florida thanks to his wife's advertising gig and he has picked up a nice job at some swank bike shop that caters to all of the Tri geeks in the area. Well it appears that a couple of weeks ago Brandon and his wife were out to dinner with some friends when he began experiencing a rumble in the tummy so he ducked out and went home. When he got home his oh so chatty neighbors happened to be outside and they decided to strike up some small talk....The way Brandon tells it the sweat was already beading up on his forehead and he was keeping the sphincter tight trying to hold back the explosion. Well by the time he finally excused himself and went inside he couldn't make it to the bathroom and he SHIT himself. When he told me this I couldn't stop laughing...the mental image still cracks me up...I guess the worst part was that he had to get himself cleaned up and he washed his pants before his wife came home. Brandon you will be hearing about this one for a LONG TIME...By the way I still miss the old shop...We had some good times hanging out with some pizza twisting wrenches after the shop had closed for the night.....Antoon playing free cell...Tim eating Thai food then lighting up some nasty farts....Chris taking out his front teeth...Let's not forget the Pilsner Urquell (spell check that one)..We miss U brother...TC

Cathy's snowboard

For anyone who cares (I'm suspecting that there really aren't that many who do) Cathy still has not purchased a snowboard..Better get on it...That trip to Utah is coming up...TC

The Dutch oven

I've always had an affection for my own nocturnal emissions and have found the dutch oven to be an effective way to piss off one's wife, girlfriend or fuck buddy. Now on to today's ride... Since I had to slave away at the salt mines this weekend any morning rides would be nixed. I was hoping that I could get out early and put in some good miles at a relaxed pace and just ride for the enjoyment of being outside instead of on a trainer. Anyone who has ridden at Stoney Creek most certainly has seen a quadriplegic guy named Scott grinding away on his hand bike. I must admit that I've passed him numerous times and always said hi but have never spoken to him....that is until today. There wasn't much going on at the creek and as I unloaded my bike I saw Scott cranking by the parking lot. I eventually got on my bike and caught up to him but today instead of just whizzing by I struck up a conversation.."Can U believe this weather" or something like that. It was kinda cool to ride with someone new and it helped pass the time. I learned that Scott was paralyzed in 1974 as a result of a motorcycle accident and that he used cycling as his therapy. I think that it is probably like that for alot of us. Scott had to peel off after only 2 laps leaving me behind to finish up alone. Thanks Scott for helping to pass the time and for giving me some insight into what keeps you motivated. This time of year I need all the extra motivation I can get..TC

Riddle me this

What do Cathy and the Rooster have in common? One is a cock the other one wishes she had one. We still love U Rooster....

Mean Mugging

Just some random things that happened the other day on my solo trek out to Stoney on a little 3 hr ride. I saw a seriously anorexic chic running on the paint creek trail...Her one thigh was as big as my calf...and that isn't saying much as I have bird calves (feel free to interject here Mrs. Hess). She looked like she could have been 40 yrs old but in all reality she was probably more like 25....I got yelled at by 2 high school kids driving their circa 1998 Intrepid Hoopty who told me to "get on the sidewalk". But my favorite was the Dirt ass couple driving the Ford Tortoise. First the guy honks incessantly as they come up behind me, then he pulls up next to me and his skanky girlfriend Mean Mugs me then flips me the bird. I was trying to chase the guy to the next stop light so I could bounce a waterbottle off of his window but the light turned green and I missed him by about 15 feet. Memo to self...start taking frozen burritos or an extra waterbottle on rides from home to fling at assholes that one meets along the way...TC

DC's Dad gets case of BLUE BALLS

I still can't get over that story Don told during our ride yesterday. The even funnier thing is he was like "Yeah I bet my dad gave it to my mom but good after they went home". I told him that his mom probably went to bed and left old pops with a case of blue balls. So then we start joking about how he probably spent time alone "knocking it down" to take care of the situation. The material here is endless.

DC's mom in a possible 3 way?

The most interesting thing about today's ride was DC telling us how he was at a new year's eve party and this 30 something year old lady was hitting on his mom. U should have heard him tell the story...I think it went something like this "my mom's not a bad looking lady..she still has a nice rack and all night at this party there is this lady hanging all over her". " I was trying to get my dad to get them into a three way but I guess that it didn't work out" I can only imagine...